30 More Peak Dad Moments
Random Observation/Comment #817: There’s a dad magnet at every Costco and it attracts me to the food and alcohol section. Give me that chicken bake. I can’t pass up a good deal.
Why this List?
The first 30 peak dad moments earlier this year wasn’t enough. This overflow list very quickly filled up and now I just feel like a domesticated suburban middle aged man wearing Costco stretchy pants. Damn these pants are so comfy.
Checking the gas price wherever we visit
Evie sticking her head in my shirt or standing on my feet and saying “Daddy, I want to play bad mood”
Crying while watching Bluey. Also saying “just one more episode” even though Evie has lost interest and I’m still watching.
Deep knowledge of kid stories. Oh, Amelia Bedilia, you take things so literally. Get your crap together, Arthur.
Perfecting the mac and cheese and chicken nuggets cooking style
Keeping a stocked pantry of fruit gummies and a saved jar of fortune cookies
Showering in bathing suit (or just my boxers) with Evie and drawing little feet on the glass door with the steam condensation
Skills in flossing and brushing teeth
Going on a Disney cruise with multiple neighborhood families and kids, and then sneaking away to smoke cigars and drink cognac while the kids hang out at 5th floor drop off
Carrying Evie around on my head even though she’s probably too heavy by now and it hurts my neck
Checking the weather during a cold storm and messaging people you know that might be in that area
Taking a screenshot of the Denver garbage collection app to remind neighbors that it’s large item pickup tomorrow.
Joining a fantasy football league even though I know nothing and have no interest in football (also joining a local recurring poker game, but I actually know how to play poker)
Getting obsessed with AI faceswaps and doing them as a party trick when with other dads
Watching YouTube series about bad dad jokes so you could shoot a slick one at the right time
Calling the act of telling a dad joke “shooting a slick one”
Getting obsessed with building a cat wall for my fur babies
Doing research on the coolest chess sets in hopes that Evie would just pick it up and be a champion
Continue raving about how good reverse osmosis ice is and how we need to get a clear ice machine in our basement (also constantly planning for a hidden bookshelf door to a secret room)
Building a wall of shame filled with labels peeled from beers. It’s the most expensive and delicious wallpaper I’ve ever made.
Settling into my standard dad outfit by wearing the same vest throughout the whole summer (you know the one)
Bringing a neck fan to the Phish show during the 4-day show long weekend at Dick’s (which will forever be known as Phish-mas)
Deciding it’s a good idea to change my whole look in a whim. The ‘stache will likely stay.
Getting into pickling
Coveting thy neighbor’s fancy gadgets. Do I need this camping light that can extend into a standing lamp? Yes. Yes I do.
Randomly breaking out into song singing “I’m just Ken”
Learning and then teaching how to properly cut and cook picanha
Saying “I’ll be fine to look after Evie” and then immediately texting other dads asking “What are you doing tonight? Can we co-parent and try out some new beers?”
Saying “We’re going home in 5 minutes” to Evie about an hour before actually leaving someone’s house
Buying a Nintendo Switch for my wife’s birthday and saying it’s for Evie to play Mario Kart, but totally was for me to play Zelda Tears of the Kingdom for 80+ hours
~See Lemons Feeling Peaker Dad
Originally posted on seelemons.com