30 Things Social Media Tells me to do

We're totally being manipulated by the masses

Random Observation/Comment #885: We’ve built the Matrix.

//Generated with AI looking at all those doom/gloom scrolling addictions

Why this list?

Scrolling is addictive. I hate that it knows what to feed me to get me to feel good or bad about myself by comparing to customized entertainment. It's all just filtered to my urges. The algorithm teaches me. Itches my curiosity. Makes the rabbit hole a few swipes away.

What has actually worked? This is in the series thinking of figuring out the parameters in my algorithm.

1. Fitness trends and transformations - Why is it resistance training when I'm just lifting weights? Do I really need to be so fit that I can do a muscle up? I don't think I'm gay, but muscle definition and lifting heavy things comes up. To be fair, Anatoly is pretty cool.

   1. Ads’ CTA: Buy gym equipment? Protein shakes? Join a gym?

2. Diet trends - Am I eating enough protein? Should I cut out all carbs? Intermittently fast? Take supplements? Tumeric?

   1. Ad’s CTA: Follow an influencer and cook their food? Buy more expensive organic food?

3. Cooking trends - I still refuse to buy an air fryer, but I'm getting closer. TBH I love cooking videos and it's still 60% of my suggestions. Yes, I'll watch another method to cook a steak.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Buy some more single-use kitchen appliances?

4. Food reviews / Eating in a car / Competitive eating - This is a little sad, but I can totally see myself filming a review of a takeout place. Also Adam from Beard Meats Food is the best.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Train to be a competitive eater? Travel to the restaurants suggested to try it out?

5. Testing social media hacks to see if they're real - A "more trustworthy" social media personality buying the actual gadgets to see if they're as cool as advertised.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Buy the gadget if it works. Faked sponsor videos ensue.

6. Amazon discounts and organization porn - I am convinced my cabinet will be better by adding the same color containers for everything. Pretty sure this is what serial killers do.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Buy more stuff on Amazon and make it look like it should be in a magazine.

7. Singing acoustic versions of 90s songs - I am a sucker for finding new karaoke songs and listening to old hooks.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Sing more? Listen to the original album or the particular station?

8. Entertaining table tennis points - Obviously I just need to watch this to gleam some new move that I can totally pull off flawlessly.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Play more Table Tennis. I like this type of encouragement.

9. Easy DIY home projects - Sure, I'll make my own cabinet. Meanwhile, all of my dining room pictures are on command hooks.

   1. Ad’s CTA: Do more home work (even though I don’t need to and the house is fine the way it is).

10. Costco hacks and things to buy - This one is actually kind of useful, but I have my own list of gotos.
    

    1. Ad’s CTA: Buy more things at Costco. Okay, fine.

11. Better ski posture - I still have no idea how I look skiing, but it's probably decent.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Buy some new skis? Spend some more time skiing?

12. AI tooling for creators and designers - The good part is that I actually experiment with these tools regularly. I wish other shorts made me leave the application and do things.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Play around with the new tool during a late night. We can never have enough faceswaps.

13. Parenting tips and psychology that starts to get pretty specific to what we're seeing in Evie's development - The parenting sub genre is usually pretty meta about knowing the trends and understanding how parenting is hard. TL;DR: Parenting is difficult.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Try new ways to avoid screen time and connect with your child (while buying some random toys or gadgets that might help with this)

14. Travel videos of awesome places I definitely want to visit - This is just mostly Japan. The algorithm knows me so well.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Go to Japan. Like now. I need that 7-11 egg sammy.

15. Beatboxing tutorials or just awesome routines - TBH, it's just Chesame giving his goofy reactions, but it's pretty addictive. This other guy Majed listens to dub step and electronic music to filter into his Spotify playlist. Double bass face melting unlocked.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Listen to more Beatboxing and go to some shows. Yes, please.

16. Drawing cool things and showcasing detailed artwork through the creation process - There are some extremely talented artists who live stream and then cut an awesome short of their artwork process. It's quite beautiful.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Buy some artwork or draw some more stuff.

17. Suggested clips of awesome shows that I wind up looking up and adding to my to-watch list - It's how I found out Reacher season 3 is on. Can I actually watch a full TV show based on its bloopers? I feel like I know Parks & Rec and Brooklyn 99 so well.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Watch those TV shows in full.

18. Cat videos - The Original Gangsta (OG) of the Internet.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Play with kitties. Get some kitties. Record those kitties.

19. Dad jokes - I guess I should tell more of these? To be fair, these people seem like they're having a fun time trading jokes

    1. Ad’s CTA: Tell more Dad jokes to make the world a better place.

20. Stand-up jokes - More polished and usually a great punchline.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Watch the full special and buy tickets to their show.

21. How I'm loading the dishwasher like an animal - I don't even know why there are so many dishwasher related shorts, but I appreciate them.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Do a better job loading the dishwasher haha. Maybe my wife is manipulating the algorithm.

22. Pranks - This is a crazy genre which includes pranks gone wrong. I’m on the fence about these because I feel so bad about the people being pranked.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Watch the full prank show or maybe it wants me to do my own pranks? I did enjoy the one where it’s “my wife scares easily.”

23. Cool magic tricks - It is true that I'm still looking for the most impressive magic trick that takes some practiced skill, but won't require years to develop a unique routine (but also not out of a standard magic kit or book).

    1. Ad’s CTA: Do some more magic and buy some magic stuff. Teach magic to your child so we have a future generation of magicians to bring in-person wonder to the world.

24. Unsolicited financial advice and real estate hacks - There are some interesting versions of this that target some trading trends, but no one actually knows what’s happening.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Trade stocks on an addictive platform where you can spend hours and not just make no money for the effort, but also lose all your money in the process of learning.

25. Basement design porn - I just want a hidden bookcase door.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Do your basement and make it awesome. Make more money because it’s going to cost a lot of money.

26. Poker hands - These are usually quite entertaining and cover all the cool professional lingo that I'll likely never use. Maybe I'll say "I flopped the nuts." "check check check!!!"

    1. Ad’s CTA: Play more in-person poker. Gotta love the weekend poker nights.

27. Side hustles that make money - Another drop shipping tool or website I should know? Sure, I’ll test it out.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Test out platforms that help with creating this content and hopefully getting sales. In reality, it’s much harder to get the sale unless your design or your idea is just better.

28. Playing 5 piano keys to fake a melody - To be fair, I do want to do this and have practiced some of these to secretly fake it. I also like the live music Omegle performances.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Play some piano. Also, thumb piano.

29. Be kind videos - These are straight up propaganda, but usually tear jerking. I've entered this algorithm a few times

    1. Ad’s CTA: Be kind, rewind.

30. Funny Cantonese - DLLM. Iykyk.

    1. Ad’s CTA: Speak more Canto. Visit Hong Kong. Yes, please.

~See Lemons Manipulated by the Algorithm