Month of Oct 2023
Grief and War
//Generated with ChatGPT using Dall-E3 through a series of prompts testing pumpkin carvings with proper text
Theme of the Month - Grief and War
I’ve been in a state of grief this month.
On Oct 5th, I heard about an old table tennis friend from Credit Suisse, Tej, committing a murder-suicide killing his 2 kids and wife - I wish I had reached out to see how he was doing.
On Oct 7th, Hamas committed gruesome crimes to innocent people across Israel.
For personal therapy, I wrote this describing a day in mid October (I tend to cry a lot in airplanes and for some reason decided to watch Band of Brothers):
There was relief to shed a tear on the ground instead of at 30,000 ft. I spoke with a neighborhood dad friend about this a few hours ago - just sharing feelings like dads do. He told me about his first marriage. It was a detailed story I hadn't heard before. The sun had set at the playground and wives had already taken daughters home to bed. We talked about feeling foolish and young. Hearts broken from being left vulnerable and sharing trust. He cried. It was a familiar moment. This moment had a conclusion and it led to his current happiness with 2 daughters and a loving wife.
I came home thinking about my conversations with my friends in Israel. It's hard to listen not knowing the end of the story. I think this is why I couldn't process her feelings or mine with sweat or ocean. It's not the sadness of a past breakup or a series about World War 2. I had to cry because I know it'll get worse before it gets better.
It felt good for myself, but that hurt even more because I see I'm just a tourist of grief. I fear there's more grief to come.
I feel a deep uneasiness as I feel helpless and closer to this than through what’s happened in Ukraine. Perhaps I’m in a simulation and nothing matters.
The blogposts I’ve published this month were:
30 Things I’m Making - I enjoy creating things and I feel like my retirement will just be me doing all these 30 things for fun instead of money. Oh, wait, I already do that (because I didn’t list anything related to work).
30 More AI Insights (Oct 2023) - We’re living in a simulation. I think the AI audio-based Operating System will be upon us soon. We’ll also probably have some manifestation of AI in the Metaverse by the end of the year.
Some ideas for Nov 2023? I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to complete these last two items because they’ve been on my list for literally a year since doing these monthly reviews. I guess I do procrastinate.
40 under 40 - I have triumphantly completed my 30 under 30 but I’ve taken a bit of a break the past 6 years due to procrastination. I would like to set new goals and tackle them.
“Our Life in Lists of 30” Book - I really need to publish this second book. I already wrote so much, but I want to complete this stage of my life so I can move forward to “Her Life in Lists of 30”
30 AI Risks - Let’s learn from the sci-fi movies and hope we don’t ruin the internet or our economy in the progress.
30 Tips from Beat Bobby Flay - I started this list a few months back and it’s almost done.
30 Decade Goals - From Evie being 6 to 16, we want to plan family rituals, habits, triumph moments, and financial outcomes before we become empty nesters.
Reflecting on 2023 - Standard recap I do in the last week of the year
Thank you for reading and I hope everyone stays safe!
Please suggest a list of 30 and I’ll write it! I’ve written 250+ lists of 30 and only publish ones that I think other people would enjoy. It’s my fun brainstorming routine.