Our 30 Signs of a Joyous Life
Our 30 Signs of a Joyous Life
What do we need for a joyful stable home?
Random Observation/Comment #849: Don't just settle for happiness. Create a life of joy.
Why this list?
Happiness is fleeting. Joy is a state of mind. It's consistent. I like consistency. It reduces the stress of unpredictability. The feeling of home. Stable. Reliable. Another pick up truck adjective?
What makes this environment a fun and joyful home? What do we need to get done for our healthy family lifestyle? Here's what came to mind:
Tidy house that we're proud to show a friend who might randomly drop by - It doesn't have to be spotless, but it should be presentable.
Uncluttered surfaces - I grew up on clutter. So many things we saved, with not a lot of space to save it. I really do like a clean surface.
Relatively empty kitchen sink and loaded dishwasher - I have designated gunk-in-sink-trap duty.
Updated shared calendar - On weekends, my brain has a pretty bad memory and sense of time. I likely assume some free time, but there's probably a kid's bday party to attend. Put it on the calendar.
A conversation about weekly activities - Does a meeting actually solve this problem? Yes. Yes it does. A meeting with an agenda and a purpose on a Sunday. What are we doing for the week?
Whiteboard of weekly combined tasks and meal planning - I'm a fan of whiteboards. Just let me do some drawing for the week and highlight major todos.
Quarterly planning for vacations, date nights, and big purchases - Quarterly Family Reviews (QFRs) are essential for recapping plans and sharing our progress on OKRs. We can be an operatively efficient and profitable family.
Free time for personal space and exercise - A joyous life is filled with equal me-time for all parties. Even Evie should decide on her own me time.
Joint exercise activity - Basement table tennis or just walks on a regular basis. We can double up the activity with chatting about our monthly or quarterly goals.
Enjoying family time with Evie that's fun and creative - Boardgames are great. I'm also down to just do some science experiments or cook dinner together.
At least 2 dinners per week where we're sitting together at the dinner table - This is a tough one, but I like a challenge. Cooking so all the food comes out at the same time is the real skill.
A spontaneous day out - We can plan some spontaneity, right? I think taking half days or going out for a day date lunch is great to improve communication.
Balance of neighborhood social activities for Evie and parents - We do a lot with friends. We try for a monthly party with the whole neighborhood. We do have a commonality of liking alcohol.
Balance of at home family movie nights with popcorn - Sometimes you just want to veg-out and watch a movie together. Popcorn movie nights rock.
Weekly reset with laundry - I am not bad at laundry, but I'm sure someone will think I'm doing it wrong.
Healthy and playful kitties - Kitties are so cute. We want them to stay cuddly, so they need their kitty hang out and play time.
Aware of each other's top goals for the week - We don't currently do this. We should be more aware of what each other is focused on doing for the week so we can support each other better to reduce stress.
Aware of each other's top fun things for the month - I keep a triumph moment keep note with the monthly tops. Hopefully everyone can add things to each other’s lists.
Weekly date activity - Going out or staying awake past 10PM to watching a show together. We have fairly low standards for this, but at least we’re together without our phones.
Balanced use of screen time for everyone - You must do a creative activity if you want to mindless screentime. YouTube is meant for learning how to do something so you can actually do the thing.
Feeling comfortable setting boundaries or asking for time - Every member of the family should be comfortable putting forward a case for needed time or focus from other members.
Regular grandparent FaceTime - We want this recurring call to be a habit. Let’s connect with the older generation and create this habit so Evie also calls us when she’s off being an independent person.
Everyone feels safe and protected - We foster a safe space and protect each other. This means we should share all the good and bad things with each other (and not keep things from each other in fear of getting in trouble).
Healthy Conflict resolution - A healthy relationship is not without conflict, but one that is able to resolve conflict effectively. We’re going to have some disagreements, so let’s make sure we can resolve these together.
Messes happen, but we clean them up - I like thinking about our family’s equilibrium and homeostasis. The lowest state of energy and stress is one free of messes. Messes will inevitably happen, but we can clean them up together.
Listen-first mentality - We want everyone to be heard and feel heard. It’s not necessarily about a solution, but sometimes a hug and empathy goes a long way.
Optimized tech usage - Technology should work for you and not the other way around. I’m happy to invest time into making certain routines and voice-enabled connectivity.
Proof of Selfies - These family proof of selfies are my favorite. They’re more for my future self when I go through those memories reminders. This way, we can relive those happy times together.
Matching Halloween costumes - Tradition!
A shared list of 30 writing exercise - This is more of a me thing. I would be so happy writing lists of 30 with everyone on a monthly basis.
~See Lemons Exude Joy