30 House Rules

These topics are mostly about being responsible roommates and partners

Nov 14, 2025

Random Observation/Comment #905: Because no one likes fighting about sponges.

// True story.

Why this list?

When we teach Evie about chores, it’s not just about cleaning, but it’s about preferences. Half of adult arguments with roommates, partners, and spouses come down to “I didn’t know you cared about it that way.” These conversations aren’t dramatic. They’re simply about setting expectations, saving arguments, and building little agreements that make life smoother.

The list will make more sense when you read it…

How I load the dishwasher (and why it’s “wrong”) – A classic marriage debate.
Where things live – Every item has a “home.” If it’s out of place, bring it home.
Cleaning the kitchen sink’s filter into the compost - This is definitely my job, but I could have gotten mad at her if she didn’t explicitly tell me that it grosses her out.
Separating laundry properly – Whites, colors, delicates… and how picky are we? Right for Light plus all t-shirt swag you got from conferences.
The “worn once” clothes pile – Where do half-dirty hoodies and jeans live? I don’t want you to touch my pile because I only wore it for 3 hours indoors and I’ll wear it again tomorrow.
When to switch out kitchen towels and sponges – And how gross is too gross?
How nicely the bed should be made – Crisp hotel corners vs. just throwing on the comforter. TBH, this is the wife’s favorite thing to do.
Shoes inside the house – (spoiler: the answer is always off).
Charging spots – Whose phone charger is whose? What’s sacred?
Unread emails – Is 30,000 emails “fine” or a living nightmare for our shared account? Should I unread a read email if I read it, but you didn’t?
Posting photos online – What’s okay to share and what’s off-limits? (Spoiler: I don’t post any photos of anyone).
Costco buying list – Family staples vs. random bulk temptations.
Amazon cart etiquette – Do we check with each other before ordering? Why are there 4 rugs? Are we buying all 4?
Cups and coasters – Does water ring trauma run deep?
The junk drawer – What belongs and what counts as “actual junk”?
Who picks up the mail? – And how fast should we open it?
Lawn care responsibilities – Division of weekend labor. This is why we xero-scaped it all.
Me-time requests – How do we ask for space without guilt? I think it helps when you physically give people a high-five to switch out.
Sleep etiquette – Lights, snoring, phone brightness, and temperature wars. These need to be communicated explicitly.
Food preferences – A must for whoever does the cooking. I will try to put some greens into the dishes (potatoes don’t count) and not cook with corn.
Ordering at restaurants – Do we share bites? Can I order something that you don’t like so you don’t eat my food?
Evie’s bedtime routine – Consistency for her, teamwork for us. This is the hardest part of the day.
Upcoming trips – How far in advance do we plan? What if I have a conference?
Closing the pantry door – Yes, apparently this matters.
Wasting food – Sometimes I like to just eat off of other people’s plates.
DoorDash orders – Who decides? I love how it’s now we have usuals for the “Indian order” or “Chinese order.”
Planning time with parents (especially house guests) – Balancing family time with sanity. I guess we can increase frequency and decrease duration.
Knife washing rules – They must be washed and dried immediately (no exceptions). Why would you abuse my babies?!?!
Understanding love languages – Gifts, acts, words, touch, time, service. Know each other’s by talking about them.
Conflict time-boxing – Sometimes you need a timer. Discuss, then change the subject.